Sunday, 1 January 2012

BLOG (PERSONAL) -- Perspectives/Memories in 2011 + New Year's Resolutions

Sporting a mild hangover from yesterday's New Year's Eve celebration, I will put off blogging about "Merry Christmas" (that Chinese movie I mentioned in my previous blog) and just list some of my New Year's Resolutions and go through some of my memories/perspectives in 2011. Personal stuff is really much easier to blog about than reviews. I'm going to treat this kind of like a journal entry, so, uhh... this may not be interesting to you. Just warning you. I won't mention specific names, though. Apologies in advance if I anger/offend anybody. I'll start with the New Year's Resolutions since the other part will be long.

New Year's Resolution
Here are some things I'm hoping to achieve/do in 2012:
- Get more in shape
- Clean my room (it was cleaner at some point -- then it got messy again ><)
- Mature more, but without losing ideals and beliefs that are important to me
- Save money (ideally to take a trip to Japan and see the cherry blossoms fall -- man, I so want to see that!)
- Save money/work out some monthly budget
- Balance the amount of stuff I have (I have too much stuff right now)
- Learn more Python (programming language)
- Create a game with my newly learned knowledge of Python
- Learn more Japanese
- Continue going to life-drawing sessions regularly (when the Winter season is over)
- Watch a play (if there's anything good playing)
- Watch a musical (if there's anything good playing)
- Write a story (script, short story, novel, whatever)
- Read a book (manga doesn't count, lol)
- Stay connected with my friends in one form or another
- Beat at least 12 video games that I physically own (is that too much? I wonder)

Is that too much? Is this overkill? I'll try it anyway, lol.

2011 in Review
I think for the most part, 2011 was a really difficult year for me. I was unemployed for about four months and that really did a number on my self-esteem and self-confidence. In addition to that, I was in the middle of a very painful relationship. Because of that, I was a person I never wanted to be. I was mean, I was extremely jealous, I was pushy, I was sooooo dependent on that person to give me happiness -- to show me gestures that I would consider as affections. And I was very sad. Not saying it was all his fault -- we both hurt each other and the relationship became very unhealthy.

It was around September that things changed for the better. At that time, I was shown that there are other possible paths to take -- that hard work and determination will get you there. Simply, I was inspired. It made me think back to my favourite band GLAY, who also have that same motto: work hard and you can achieve your dream.

From that point on, my eyes saw the world -- and myself -- in a much more positive light. I came to some realizations about myself:1) I need to take better care of myself and my dreams, and 2) I have always had a good amount of self-respect and love for myself (I used to always think the opposite because of how I was raised -- it's what made me feel so dependent on others).

Now I'm hoping to better myself and well, stay connected with what makes me happy.

Notable/Significant Memories/Events in 2011
Having my right hand squashed against a Viva door: It was the scariest time in my life. I kinda think that my hands are one of my best physical features. I couldn't work for two weeks and I couldn't play video games (except for some DS games)! I was also very scared that it wouldn't heal fully and I'd be stuck with a permanent injury for the rest of my life. Thank goodness it got better.

Moving out into the middle of nowhere: In February (Valentine's Day, no less), my family moved houses. Now we live farther east, and I don't like it. There are no convenience stores nearby, no supermarkets, no libraries, no malls, no nothing anywhere except for houses and a 10-minute walk to the subway station. It also sucks that my neighbour plays their music really loud and my room is right next to their stereo (at least it sounds like it).

Finding out that a friend lives closeby: It gives me some comfort, knowing that I'm not the only one (that I know) living in that middle of nowhere.

Going to life-drawing sessions: It was a totally new experience for me and I really enjoyed it. It's very calming, and I feel like I can drop all my troubles and worries because I have to focus on what's in front of me. I still get nervous/uneasy when drawing guy models, though, lol.

Making a new friend at the life-drawing sessions: Because life-drawing is more fun with a friend.

Connecting with some of my old friends: I will say this once to you all (all as in all my friends), and will probably never say it again so directly (except to some individually if needed): even if we don't talk to each other for long periods of time -- even if we may never see each other again in person -- my thoughts and well-wishes are with you. This is not me saying good-bye. This is me saying that we are friends no matter where we are or what we're doing; that that link isn't broken because of distance. If you don't think that's enough, then hit me up and we'll do something. Just... keep in mind that I am an awkward, shy girl who does not function well with large crowds of people I don't know :)

Playing IdolM@STER: Seriously, after wanting to play this game for 4 years... it was a delightful experience! I'd like to cosplay as them one day and do one of their dance numbers, lol.

(New) Karaoke: I forgot to mention this, but karaoking with my friends and even karaoking with just myself -- fun stuff!


That's it for the blog. I don't really expect anybody to have read all this because it was so personal. I hope the new year is filled with happiness for you all. For those who are already happy, I hope the new year just has more of that for you.

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